Restoration From Addictions Part 4 41369

In Part 1 of this collection of articles, I defined method and material addictions, and described the four major false beliefs that underlie most addictions:

1. I cant handle my pain.

2. I'm unworthy and un-lovable.

3. Others are my way to obtain love.

4. I can have get a grip on over how others feel about me and treat me.

Part 2 was in regards to the first of these beliefs learning how to deal with pain. Part 3 addressed the third and second beliefs I am unworthy and unlovable and Others are my supply of love. For a different standpoint, consider checking out: Advanced Care Recovery of Frisco Releases a Study That Shows Impact of Social Interactions on Addictive Behavior. That area, Part 4, considers the belief, I will have control over how the others experience me and treat me.

If I had to select one false belief that causes the most pain for most people, it'd be the belief that we can control how important people in our lives experience, think and act.

In my work with couples and individuals dealing with addictive behavior, I experience this perception and the many effects of it over and over. It appears very hard for most of us to accept the truth about their lack of get a handle on over others. The pain, frustration, loneliness and aloneness that result from not receiving your lack of control may be the fundamental reason for your habits.

Take a moment today to reflect about do and what you think that can be a direct result of this notion.

Do you judge/shame yourself to attempt to get yourself to behave right to ensure others will like you? If you do, you're working from your false idea that you can get a grip on how the others feel about you by how you act. You are also running from the false belief that self-judgment works to control your personal behavior. Shaming and knowing yourself can cause addictive behavior in order to avoid the ensuing pain.

Do you act loving to others with the hope that others may act loving to you? If you do, you're running in the false notion that your behavior handles others behavior. It's great to be loving to others when you are loving because you feel great, but when you've an agenda connected of being loved back, then your loving is cunning you're offering to get. The harm you experience when others dont love you back can lead to addictive behavior.

Would you get angry, judgmental and critical of others? If you do, then you're working in the false belief that anger and judgment may have get a handle on over how others feel about you and treat you. You can easily intimidate others into complying with your demands provided that they're ready to do this, but you cannot control how they feel about you. And they will comply only as long as they do. At some time they could leave, so finally you have no get a grip on over them. Your resulting tension may lead to addictive behavior.

Do you give your self up, going along with what another wants of you, such as making love when you dont want to, or spending time in methods you dont want to? If you do, then you are running from the false belief that giving your self up will have control over how yet another feels about you and treats you. A loss of a way of self can result in addictive behavior.

Can you withdraw from another or fight anothers demands? If you do, you're operating from your false notion that you can change/control anothers behavior toward you by punishing them through withholding love. The deadness of withdrawal can cause addictive behavior. Http://Www.Wboc.Com/Global/Story.Asp?S=40248966 includes more concerning why to mull over this concept.

In crucial relationships, many people do some or every one of the above actions, resulting from the false idea as you are able to control how others feel, think and act.

What would you do differently, if you really accepted the reality of your not enough control over the others? If you seriously, absolutely, completely accepted the facts of one's not enough control over the others thoughts and behavior, you would be left with what you CAN control yourself.

I have seen over and over that individuals eventually take loving care of themselves only if they fully recognize the reality of the lack of get a handle on over others. It is really wonderful the rapid progress the people I use make if they finally accept this fact.

Changing out of this one false belief and to the fact can go a long way toward healing your addictions..

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